Tortuegurero. The good, the bad, the stupid swallowed seed...

After several days of laying on the beach in Cahuita, we paid for an all inclusive tour to tortueguro. The tour company said the package included a taxi to port city where we would take a 4 hour boat tour to the Island, a night tour/hike, a hotel room with air conditioning (a first since I have been in C.A.), Caribean breakfast, and a very early morning tour by canoe. They failed to mention that we would have to deal with Mr. Jerkface of the year.

The taxi ride was to the port city of Main was nice. I sat in the front and sucked in the air conditioning. The driver was the same guy who sold us the package, he didn't want to fee split too much... He was funny and stopped at a natural juice place where I ordered up a squeezed on the spot orange/carrot juice drink.

When we got to the boat, we had to wait over an hour for the boat man to fetch gasoline. How lame, he knew we were coming, and didn´t even go for the gas until we had been there over 30 minutes. It was miserable waiting. It was hot and ugly. We were on some sort of inlet from a river. It smelled bad, there were British women and Italians complaining the entire time. They definately were in the right to complain, but they didn´t have to be so whinny. However, the boat ride made up for the wait.

We traversed jungle canals that looked like a small amazon. I saw tons of different birds including kingfishers, herons, parrots, and many more I couldn't identify.





There were turtles, lizards (called Basilisk or as the local call them - Jesus because they can run on water), and butterflies.







The most exciting was the crocodiles. They were huge!





The cutest was the fruit bats. Our guide found an entire family just chilling on a tree. We we pulled alongside them they all started dancing. I wanted to take them home so bad. I can see it now, my pet dancing fruit bats. I would play my favorite dance tunes for them everyday and my neighbors would be so envious. ;)



In addition to the animals, the scenery was absolutely beautiful.





When we got to the island, we were met by our guide. At first he was professional and courteous. These qualities faded with the sunset.

We settled into our room and tested out the AC. It was a unit that rolled around. After using it just a few minutes, a puddle of water formed. We went to complain, but couldn't find anyone to complain to? Instead we got some late lunch/early dinner. While eating I overheard the waitress telling another table that there was a lady giving hour massages for 20$. I raised my hand and signed up for one at five. I figured even if the gal wasn't properly trained, 20$ was a deal I couldn't pass up. I had just enough time to go to the beach for an hour, get my mediocore massage and get ready for our tour at 7:15p.m.

It gets dark at 6:00p.m. in C.A. (year round) so we wore our repellent, long pants, and our head lamps. Our guide showed up a little late and we headed out on our hike. We were going to see green sea turtles, but I didn't really know what to expect... I figured we would go to some observatory platform and hope for a turtle, no guarantees. I should be used to being wrong by now...

We hiked for several miles and finally came to a spot where we met up with park rangers. They gave us passed (included in our package) and we were told which inlet to go to in order to see the turtles. We took off fast because our guide explained that the turtle could be gone by the time we got there.

My legs were burning and I was dripping in sweat by the time we reached out spot. The national park is set up so there is a long path that runs along the beach, but in the jungle. And it was pretty scary looking jungle, like the jungle was mad there was a path in the way and was attempting to take it back. There were always vines and branches overhead, some we had to duck to pass through. Every 100 meters there was a sign and a path to the beach. When we got to sign number 57, we turned off our lights and headed in the dark to the beach. When we got there, the ranger told our guide that the turtle hit a root and changed her mind about nesting.

I was thinking, this is bull. They are playing with us. That is why there are no guarantees!

Our guide said to follow him and we did. I was shocked when we arrived at a 400 pound sea turtle making its way to the back to the sea. Wow.

I was also shocked when our guide instructed us to get within a foot of the fleeing turtle. He explained that she was digging her nest and hit a tree root. She would return later that night to a different spot. The turtle was huge and majestic. I could hardly believe I was so close. It also made me uncomfortable because I know turtles can smell people and I was thinking all my bug spray must be freaking her out.

I was shocked in a different way when our guide squatted down and pointed at her tail and said "look her pussy." Talk about inappropriate. He then went on to describe the male turtle and told us "it has a dick this long," and held up his hands really wide apart. I was trying to convince myself this was a language barrier and he probably didn't know he was being offensive. This thought flew out the door when he bragged that the eggs were fertilized by many different males. He told us with a sneer that turtles were whores. I was disgusted.

On the way back to the ranger, our guide admitted he couldn't wait to go to the bar later that night. I decided as punishment for being a pig, I would keep him from his goal for as long as possible. I was a paying customer and unfortunately I had paid up front. As a consolation, I figured the most he was getting for his time was $10.

The ranger said if we waited we could see another turtle laying eggs. She was currently digging her hole about 30 feet away. Our guide suggested we leave, claiming we already saw a turtle and that they all looked the same. I insisted we stay. Ha, passive aggressive punishment.

As were waiting, we saw five other turtles come onto the beach. Two turned back and it was explained that they didn't like to be too close to each other. Just then the turtle we had been waiting to dig her nest abruptly left. I felt horrible. I was afraid my ecoturism was destroying the peace of her nesting. I figured she was leaving because she could small my Deet.

We watched her make her slow journey to the beach and then the ranger told us she left because she unearthed another turtles nest. To prove his point he pointed a red light (no white lights are allowed on the beach because it scars the turtles) at the whole and I saw broken eggs scattered everywhere. I was relived it wasn't me and sad that the nest had been disturbed.

Uncovering other momma turtles nests is bound to happen. Apparently during nesting season, 2000-3000 turtles come to the park each night to nest. No wonder we saw 5 come onto the beach where we were hanging out within 10 minutes.

We were assured that just a few more feet away there was another turtle about to finish digging her hole. Again I insisted we wait. My Canadian friend was with me. Our guide said he was going to go take a piss. In a few minutes there was an awful smell. My friend looked at me and said, "did the ranger just fart." I realized our guide went to take a dump AND he didn't go far enough. I almost retched when it dawned on me that we were smelling his nasty poo. I felt traumatized.

When he got back we told us to sit on a log with him. I refused. He tried to push me by my shoulder, I shook him off. My comfort level was definitely being pushed to its limit. My friend sat. He started calling my her baby, asking if she was going to the bar later and complained to her that later he would have to give his money to a woman. He made the universal sign for jerking off as he said this. I was about start screaming with feminist rage when the ranger rushed over and grabbed us. We went to the turtle and the ranger held up the red light.

WOW. I was witnessing a enormous turtle laying eggs. It was completely unreal. Sometimes one egg would fall, then two or three at a time. They were the size of ping pong balls. For the moment I forgot about our nasty ass guide. We were allowed to watch for just a minute. When we were done I finally said I was ready to leave.

On the long hike back I had mixed emotions. I had witness something majestic and rare. At the same time I was thinking this guy walking in front of me deserves to be in jail. It is guys like him that make the trafficking of women profitable. He is a oppressor, a spreader of disease and violence against women, my enemy! I also knew that the jungle we were walking through was very unsafe. If we were alone, we would most certainly be robbed and maybe even assaulted. In addition, we were on a island with no cars, no phones, no Internet, and no other friends. If this guy wanted he could have us thrown out of our hotel he had arranged as part of our package with nowhere to sleep. Talk about conflict.

I had a bottle of water sticking out of my back pocket. He asked if I had any water. I played coy and said "ya I'm good, thanks." Then he made the signal like he was drinking water. I pretended not to understand. When he asked for a drink I really wanted to say NO! I rarely feel like I hate someone. I hate that guide. I reluctantly handed over my water. After he took several swings he tried to give it back. He didn't even try the pour without touching the mouth technique you're supposed to do with strangers!!! Outrageous. I told him to keep it and gave him my dirtiest look. He got my point.

My friend asked if he was going to the bar, how was he going to be awake at 5:00 a.m to take us on our canoe tour. He said some other guy would be our guide for that tour. YES. I had already decided not to go because I would in all likelihood toss him into the river when I saw a crocodile.

When we got back to our hotel room, it was completely flooded. We finally found someone to get us a new room. As soon as we turned on the air in that room, a small puddle again started to form. Ug. Traveling is really difficult. We picked up everything from the floor and decided having cool air to sleep outweighed the hassle of wading through water in the morning.

We woke at 4:45 to go on our canoe tour. It was worth it! Our guide put us in a boat and paddled us around these tiny river canals. It was straight out of the the Jungle Book. We couldn´t go 50 feet without seeing wildlife.







Again we saw birds everywhere. There were kingfishers, parrots, parakeets, toucans, black hawks, herons, snake fish birds, and much more.





We saw the giant blue butterfly that always managed to escape the lens of my camera.

There were several troops of monkeys, including howlers, white faced, and spider monkeys.

Adorable river otters played around out boat.

We saw several large Basilisks and we even saw one run on the water. It was stunning.

At one point we left the canoe and went to find the poisonous red frog. We found him and he was so much smaller than I had imagined. We saw other frogs and river turtles as well.



There were lots of little caymans. There are like small crocodiles.



The most impressive was an enormous iguana. It was the size of a large dog. He was way up in a tree and ran off before I was able to get a picture.

The only bad part of the tour was that I was very tired. I had brought leeche, a Chinese fruit that in very popular in C.A. It looks like this.



You crack the peel and toss the fruit covered seed into your mouth and chew off the fruit part. I started eating them as an attempt to try to stay awake. The rowing and the jungle noises were acting like a lullaby. I was about to spit out my first leeche fruit, which tastes citrusy, and accidentally swallowed it. The seed is the size of a apricot seed. Not exactly easy going down.

My stomach started making weird noises and felt like there was something alive in there. This lasted all day! Every thirty minutes or so my tummy would go gurgle, gurp, gurgle, gup and shake my body. I was imagining my stomach acids working full time to break down the giant seed and hoping it didn´t cause an ulcer... I was fine the next day.

Chasing danger.

There isn't much to do in Cahuita, that is besides lay on the beach or in a hammock, or take a jungle walk. Fine by me! However, on a Saturday my Candian friend and I took a bus to the nearby town of Peurto Viejo. We rented beach cruisers and took a long bike ride to a beautiful beach. The sky was cloudy and It was sprinkling on the ride. I was happy because it was mostly a dirt road and I would have hated to be riding in the sun with dust sticking to me.

We spent about 5 hours lounging on the beach and swimming. On the ride back to town, the sun had came out. We stopped off on the side of the road and bought mango/yogurt pops. I felt like a 12 year old, riding with my bag in the front basket on the bike and slurping down my mango/pop. I was totally content!

After we returned the bikes, we went to dinner at a French restaurant. I couldn't help myself, I had lobster again. A little more expensive this time, but still super cheap. A band was setting up to play, so I decided to return later. I did and all night they played popular American tunes. As I was swaying along to the great music I noticed there were four others in my close vicinity doing the same. I then noticed that one of the guys was someone I had met a few days earlier in Cahuita. He had walked into a restaurant and I told my Canadian friend, I bet he's Californian. To test my theory, I asked and yup, he was from Santa Barbra.

I said, "hey Santa Barbra," he turned and said, "hey San Francisco." Just then the others that were also jamming along to the live music volunteered that they were all Californian as well. Yup, California knows how to party. Of everyone there, we were all enjoying the music the most!

On Sunday, we went to the beach just five minutes from our room. I asked the hostel to borrow a snorkeling set and decided to snorkel close to the beach. I saw angle fish, barracudas, and this weird starfish like creature. It had nine legs, was about 20 inches in diameter and was alive because I saw it move and wiggle into the sand. I felt really brave and touched it with my foot and found it too be hard like a starfish.

I called some people over that were grouped nearby and asked them to take a look. They were all Spanish speaking and claimed not to see anything. I am pretty sure they thought I was loca. When I took a break I told my friend about what I saw and she went to see for herself. She found it and was equally weirded out by the strange creature. She didn't touch it.

I started to get really curious and decided to find it and then bring it to the surface using my snorkel tube. I looked forever, but couldn't find the 9 legged dude. Bummer. On my was back to land some Australians asked if I was seeing anything. I told them about the fish and the unknown specimen. They were perplexed.

I went back under and saw what I thought was a manta ray. I got so excited! I immediately started following him at top speed. I got pretty close and remembered that there were no manarays in Costa Rica, but there were stingrays. Then I remembered that the Crocodile Hunter was killed by a stingray. I put on my fin breaks and popped out of the water. The Australian couple were nearby and asked what I had seen. When I told them, they both decided to leave the water. I decided to follow, with my head underwater. I saw the stingray again and freaked a little. I was also excited...

I really wish I had brought an underwater camera, even a cheap disposable one. Oh well, next time.

Signs signs every where are signs...

Just too funny...

Weembo whop... In the jungle...

Just after arriving in Cahuita, Costa Rica, we discovered that there is a national park a mere 5 minute walk from our beach front hostel. My Canadian friend and I decided to sweat the 6 mile trek that would take us through the jungle and along the beach. I only agreed because there was a bus stop at he end of the 6 miles...

Before we took off, we loaded up on bug-spray, put on our bathing suits under our jungle gear and stooped to ask the rangers what types of animals and critters we would likely see. And see we did!

These little guys are leaf cutters. They are everywhere. I am sure I killed a 1000 or so (by accident of course!)



Less than a mile in, we saw our first type of monkey. They were white faced little guys. The pictures didn´t turn out to well, but the experience was fantastic. I was the one who spotted them when I caught a branch falling in the jungle out of the corner of my eye. Next thing I new there was a entire troop doing tricks and jumps right over our head. They were definitely monkeying around.



There were a gazillion of these lizards.





We saw this cool guy and one other that was a John Dear Green. He took off before I could get a snap shoot.




There were also a ton of crabs, all colors and sizes.



We saw two more types of monkeys. Brown monkeys who also thought it would be cute to do acrobatics right over our heads and howlers but they were camera shy.



We saw a sloth, but he was sleeping and tucked up in the cutest little ball. I didn´t take any pictures since I got a ton of another one a few days ago. (See previous post).

Of course there were mosquitos. They must have been having a family reunion, because there were swarms. With my 100% Deet, I came out with only a few new bites. I also got dizzy after a second application. I´m pretty sure that means something bad...

About 4 miles in, we took a dip in the water.



In addition to the animals and critters, there trees were pretty impressive. It reminded me of the Forbidden Forest (from HP).



We had to navigate this log-crossing over a small river.



Not only was there a bus at the end of the trail, but there was also this awesome restaurant with a pool. It was so refreshing (the food and the swim).