Body Language

It turns out that I am multilingual after all...

Meivis´s younger sister Amarilis invited Meivis and I to go to the discotec, or in other words, clubbing! When Meivis asked me if I was interested, I was elated. Even one night of dancing would justify bringing the heals I somehow squeezed inside my hiking shoes when packing.

Getting ready for a night on the town was just like at home. Make-up, asking `does this match?´ (Amarilis changed her entire outfit at least four times), hair straightening, the perfect earrings, perfume, and of course snide comments from Meivis´s little brother who was bummed he had to stay home and babysit. I ended up selecting the only heals I brought, jeans (also the only ones I brought) and the closest thing I had to a night on the town shirt, a black tank top with some lace. The girl´s night clothes weren´t much different than their day clothes. ´

On the cab ride to the club, the girls asked me if I knew salsa or marangay... I shock my head while saying `uh-uh´ and they looked worried. Meivis assured me they would teach me, but she didn´t seem confident. In my mind I was picturing the salsa club in Along Came Polly with Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston where everyone was a pro.

What I found when we got to `Moods´ discotec was just like at home, but with a few twists. First most of the music was in Spanish. Yet, when I paid attention I realized they were playing everything from MC Hammer´s You Can´t Touch This to Madonna´s latest hits. Most of the familiar beats had Spanish lyrics, but a few were actually in English. The music was nothing like the Spanish music coming from my dad´s neighbor´s backyard on Sunday afternoons. Second, girls on the left, boys on the right, with a few exceptions. Third, beers and shots were only $3. Finally, no tipping necessary.

After doing the obligatory preliminary assessment of the layout of the club, the music, the people and their moves, I started to feel confident. However, when I asked the girls if they were ready to grove they looked at me like I was crazy. As became apparent, they needed a few beers in order to shake their tail feathers. I on the other hand dance my best when sober. After about an hour of watching and a few moves and shakes I just couldn´t hold back even though we were on the side lines, I convinced Meivis to hit the floor. Amarilis would need a few more beers and a shot of tequila. After dancing a few songs, we went back over to where Amarilis was standing and blushing, putting her hands over her face. I was think I had totally embarrassed myself with my Jeeni spiced Latina moves and I was questioning if I had gone too far with my mime-like lasso move to Amarilis on the side line.

Meivis spoke with her sister in Spanish. Laughing, she then told me her sister thinks I dance better than the both of them. I assured them if this was true it was due to my many, many years of practice. Cat Club, Kels, Holly Cow, Endup, Ruby Skye, Fat Cat, the list goes on...

Finally, I got both girls dancing and we had a great time. The Panamanian men were very respectful. Instead of scootching over to you and attempting to hump your leg like at some clubs back home, they actually asked you to dance and then it was like dancing with a grandpa with style.

The only hiccup we ran into were some US marines. Two men came over and tried to talk to us in broken Spanish. When it was my turn to answer ´De done eres?´ (where are you from) I shocked them when I said California. Apparently they had though I was from Panama. If fact several people had come up to Mevis throughout the night and asked if I was Panamanian.

I soon discovered that Meat-head was from San Jose, CA and Knuckle-head was from Colorado. Right away I thought they were trouble. They were the only ones in the entire club who had that misplaced confidence that can only be obtained by being a American marine, with too many $3 shots pumping through their veins.

I tried to warn Meivis and Amarilis, but `carne cabezo´ wasn´t translating well. Meat-head raised his camera to take pictures and I said `no.´ However, when Amarilis struck a fabulous pose and Meivis just smiled I didn´t want to be a prude so I stepped into the background and smiled. But when the guy tried to take covert pictures of us when we started dancing, I wasn´t having it. I asked him to stop. Just to show me his red, white and blue power he took another picture. I snatched the camera from him and attempted, but failed to delete the pictures.

Earlier Knuckle-head had bragged that they were two of only four marines that worked at the American embassy and had gone into detail about where they were living claiming that they had the best party house in town (a mansion close to the embassy, US dollars well spent I´m sure.) Knowing their names and exactly where to find them I knew that Meat-head wouldn´t do anything stupid because I could go straight to his immediate boss and all the way up to Bush if necessary. I was self-assured by the fact that I am an recovering law student AND my Lonely Planet book has the American embassy clearly marked on the Panama City map, local phone number and all!

There was a tense moment when Meat-head demanded his camera back. I agreed to give him the camera on the condition I wear it around my wrist like a bracelet while he deleted the pictures in front of me and then I would magically release it by unlocking my iron clad double handed clasp, learned from my 8th grade wrestling coach. The pictures weren´t bad or anything, I just didn´t want to me the Friday Night Special on some Marine´s Myspace. Weighing his options, Meat-head obliged and poof his camera was free to molest other women. Knuckle-head pouted when Meat-head said `let´s bounce.´

After dancing for nearly 5 hours, we took a cab home. In the cab, Meivis asked me why I was afraid of cameras. Note: I had also spent the entire night avoiding a cameraman following a beautiful TV host around while she interviewed discotecers for a nightlife TV program. Amarilis had of course given an interview while striking the perfect pose. Did I mention Meivis and her sisters are all georgous? Over and over I ducked and dodged the camera much to the sexy host´s dismay. I think I was especially desirable because I was the only blond in the place, or it could have just been my moves... Even back home I always avoid those expose night life documentors. It´s just not my thing.

Overall the night was a blast. I haven´t worn heals since my graduation so my legs were sore for several days. However, I woke up hang-over free having had only three Miller Lights and one `let´s get Amarilis to dance´ shot.

Jeeni the Intrepid Rug Cutter